I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
