all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
