ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
