Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
how does that bad decision feel?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
