Pappa wants mamma naked
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
