Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
