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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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