Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
