hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
