sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
