I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
