she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
