I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
