I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
