i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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