whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she told me i tasted like america
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
