So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize