My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize