whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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