i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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