I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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