i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
