sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
