The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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