as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize