i just wanna soil my oats bro
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
