then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize