Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize