it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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