Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i love accidental penises.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
