I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
