I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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