He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
