It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize