you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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