I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
