Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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