READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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