i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
