a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
