I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize