Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
