I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
