oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Never underestimate the power of titties
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