She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
not ubering you a puppy
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
