so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
