She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
