So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
