dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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