so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
