I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
