dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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