I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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