Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize