Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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