Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
