All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
