Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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