did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
