I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
