i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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