I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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