I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
